But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
~ 2nd Corinthians 4:7-10
The last few weeks have been tough...but necessarily so. I have been reminded of my need to be completely reliant on Jesus. This is not a journey that I can navigate on my own. I feel like I am afflicted, perplexed, persecuted and struck down. To be honest I also feel a bit crushed too but probably more from being bone deep weary and pretty fed up with the seemingly never ending fight. The fight to get out of bed in the morning, fighting the traffic to work, breaking up the workplace fights, soothing the friend after a fight. I am told to fight the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12a) but I don't have the energy.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
So I will reiterate, every singly iota of strength, capacity to love and care, every moment I listen on the phone to a friends problems, or fold them in my arms reassuring them that everything will be okay, every prayer I breath, shout or cry is because of Jesus. It is not that he has made me strong it is His strength given me by the Holy Spirit. If it was up to me and my strength I would not be here - I would have given up a long time ago, I am not that determined or motivated. If it wasn't for the fact that I see clear evidence in my life of how God wants to redeem this situation for his Glory I would have pulled the plug or flicked the switch a long time ago.
We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best...So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.
~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-12; 16-18 (Message)
So I'm perservering - knowing that by grace I have hope for the future. When I start to put my faith in something that isn't Jesus, like a guy, a job or a holiday, that hope will turn pretty quickly into despair as how can creation ever compare to the Creator.
Nothing in my hand I bring
Simply to Your cross I cling
Naked come to You for dress
Helpless look to You for grace
If you imagined a story you wouldn't come up with a relationship so one-sided. It is completely crazy - God loved me yet because of my sin nature I have rebelled like a typical teenager, wanting to go my own way, forge my own path, overland through the swamp, across the 6-lane freeway and a field full of IEDs. But God through his son Jesus provided a way to be reconciled to him. It is not because of anything that I have done or that I have brought to the relationship. We are born with nothing and we die with nothing and it is by grace alone that we have hope in a future without pain and suffering. An eternity with out abuse, depression and pain.
