Wednesday, September 30, 2009

David Was Bi-Polar

I've been reading through some of the Psalms and I've come to the conclusion that if King David had been alive today he would have been diagnosed with Bi-Polar. I am also glad that from the Psalms we can see that the writers of these prayer songs were real people with real emotions, fear, pain, suffering, joy, delight and sorrow. I feel that we have built up these Bible people to be bigger then Ben Hur. We somehow mythologise them into being super-human, super-spiritual people who had God's ear.  But they weren't.  They struggled with their faith, with their circumstances just as I do.  They were sinners and it was in their ordinaryness and humanness that God chose them to do extraordinary things. 



Psalm 142
1 I cry out to the Lord;
      I plead for the Lord’s mercy.

My prayers are cried out in the depth of the night and my soul aches for comfort and peace.  I know you are in control God but please give me the strength to continue and endure through this valley of the shadow of death. 
 2 I pour out my complaints before him
      and tell him all my troubles.

You know me from the depth of my soul to the tips of my toes.  You know what I've experienced and what I have done.  But you are my holy counsellor and allow me to express myself in all honesty without fear of rejection or deafening silence.  You love me no matter what.

 3 When I am overwhelmed,
      you alone know the way I should turn.
   Wherever I go,
      my enemies have set traps for me.


Lord this darkness closes in on me so frequently yet you lift me out of this pit.  You have promised me songs of joy and everlasting life and I know you are my constant companion through this journey.  Yet it is so hard and the sorrow weighs heavily on my shoulders some days.  Keep me from harms way and from people who wish me harm. 
 4 I look for someone to come and help me,
      but no one gives me a passing thought!
   No one will help me;
      no one cares a bit what happens to me.


Lord I so desperately want my family to love me and provide a safe haven for healing, but they are not there.  Instead pain seeks my soul when I search for comfort in the created rather than in you the Creator.  Lord, you have graced me with so much and have brought me this far, and I know you will deliver me through this valley if I continue in obedience.  Lord you knew me before creation and you knew me in my mother's womb.  I know that you care for me, please let me feel that care.

 5 Then I pray to you, O Lord.
      I say, “You are my place of refuge.
      You are all I really want in life.


Lord, you are my only true refuge.  It is only in You that I find lasting peace.  Chocolate and a good book provides only a short term distraction from the sorrow but you say, 'Dear Child it is time to heal, and I will be there through it all, never leaving you to the wolves or turning my back on you - you are mine and I have persued you with a jealous love. Rest easy in my arms for my love is perfect, and perfect love drives away fear.'
 6 Hear my cry,
      for I am very low.
   Rescue me from my persecutors,
      for they are too strong for me.

Listen to the silent tears that accompany my grief.
You know the depths of my sorrow and my need for relief.
Though Satan has sent oppresors and liars to my door,
I know that you'll protect me and pick me off the floor.
 7 Bring me out of prison
      so I can thank you.
   The godly will crowd around me,
      for you are good to me.”


 Lord you are delivering me and I can see the plan you have for me but I am not really sure how to get from the here and now to the over there.  But I know that even in this suffering and even in this pain I am able to bring glory to your name because you are doing a work of miraculous healing in my life and if you give me the strength to continue this good fight I will continue to share with others how you are delivering me through the night, one day at a time.